What chicken fillet, monster float and large fries didn’t fix

11Mar12

Lately, the thought of getting together reaching out to this certain friend is becoming frequent and the urge stronger. Like now. At this moment. The only thing pulling me back now is that I have lots of things to do and getting together might not be as simple as me contacting her, she coming to where I am, and us sitting mostly and comfortably in silence doing school work, ocassionaly blurting out random stuff. We are were old friends. I feel like we could just sit in silence and not care. Except that she’s talkative. Oh way talkative.

Maybe this is my season of giving. It feels like I stopped being angry a long time ago. I don’t know when. What I know is that a couple of days or a few days after the incident, I was just tired. I was exhausted to even feel angry. But what became apparent months after is that I still feel hurt. I wasn’t so sure about still being angry but there’s still pain. Getting together months ago would’ve been what happened had I been confident of myself. I don’t trust myself. I’m afraid I might be setting up my own trap. I won’t forget what she did but I am not sure if I can keep myself from acting as I was before. I do not think I can guarantee that I can’t and won’t be. But I miss (her).

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