(Almost) empty spaces


I wrote this entry on Word. Smartbro sucked. Now, GlobeTattoo also sucks.


In less than an hour, roommate’s gonna be leaving for good.  And for home, I mean.

Roommate's closet. Photo taken yesterday (09May2011)

Photo taken yesterday (09May2011)

We’ve been roommates for more or less three college years now and it’s still not the same even if I was the one who tried to leave first. See, I leaving then was because of different factors. Primarily it was because I needed to feel kind of independent. I wanted to be out of any nearby authority or control which was in the form of my landlady, her sister, and my landlord. I wanted to know if I can really do what I thought I could (e.g. cook –  and in fairness to me I found out I actually know how to cook albeit not that good and sometimes I just experiment). Another reason was because maybe I just find it logical to live in the same house with my sister since she’d be transferring to a school near (okay, not so near) mine. And

——So roommate just left. It was a struggle to not cry in front of them. The only thing I could do was ask for a picture of us to be taken and offering the excuse that the picture is for so when we meet again, we’d have something as basis in recognizing what differences took place since this day. Lame. I know.

It’s actually true – the thing they say that when someone leaves, you experience that it’s all coming back to me stuff. I felt as if those times, those years spent together came flooding my senses. It’s almost real. I can almost see.

Roommate and I might have those occasional times where we just kept quiet sometimes because we’re not in a good mood (and it felt as if if we did interact we might fight) and sometimes because maybe we annoy each other. Apparently, that’s opposite of what I actually feel.

Roommate's study table until about two hours ago. (10May2011)

I became an ipis warrior for roommate however stupid and silly that may sound. I am also terrified by cockroaches and more so with the flying ones but roommate’s thing I think equates with my ‘phobia’ with beetles. So I guess the one with the higher tolerance needed to step up. With roommate now a bus or taxi ride, a plane ride, and probably a bus ride away from here, I’m an ipis warrior no more.

I said I can almost see. I almost almost saw it. You were always that doctor quack-quack. I am almost always the sick one (though unobvious). When I say that I feel something – even the slightest bad- you go and get your laptop and search Encarta for possible reasons and then you diagnose. Haha. I remember telling you of how you might have wanted me to die since you always tell me of the worse-worst cases. Also, the one I will be forever touched is whenever you offer to carry my things all because I was diagnosed two or three years ago with a mild case of scoliosis. And even if I had stopped going to the doctor and following it up and just declaring that maybe with the time that has passed that mild scoliosis might’ve corrected itself, you, and surprisingly landlady’s sister and another housemate, make it a point to not make me lift the heavier things – I should always be the one to carry the lightest if I even have to carry anything at all.

So even if I get annoyed that when I drink, get drunk and mess it up, you might do a ‘lecture’, I know I’ll miss the motherly friend that you are. Yes, we might be different in that you always have a purpose and I am almost forever indecisive, I am glad that we’re roommates. It just saddens me that we never got to travel together (that is not a class requirement). I hope we could in the future though. I really hope we could.

P.S. Oh, and I almost forgot that you left me with two bottles of your body wash, a linen fragrance,  Fox’s candies, scotch tape, your palanggana, diswashing liquid, a sachet of detergent, and hangers. I did not forget the memories. Haha. Also, I see that monkey you hang either on your bed posts or in your closet. I might want to keep that. : )

Me, Roommate, Landlady's sister. Before roommate got in the cab. (10May2011)


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