Dead Star


Because one dead star will always be something.

my eighteenth. (i just wanted to write about this.) Dec 22, ’08 11:28 AM
for kristine grace’s contacts

last night, we celebrated my eighteenth birthday. (i was born dec19). it was such a “finally its here” sort of ocassion because it gave me stressful and anxiety-laden times. i was sort of nervous because i did not have an escort to make fun with while walking to my seat but happily i made it there without having to suddenly get one of my guy friends from the crowd to save me.

last night was one of the happiest. i swear. its one of those things that you just wont want to go and let go. most of my friends attended and they are so noisy chika-ing with each other but i know ill miss them the instant that noise fades. i miss them now. most of them stayed over. drinking and talking and singing our hearts out till the break of dawn.

they say good things never last. i know. it just happened. i just went out a while ago to send my remaining friends home. the magic that’s perceptable has gone. but the magic thats intangible has remained. and will remain with me for as long as i cant even imagine.

last night was one of the happiest. its just shattering to think that that kind of gathering with that same faces could never happen again. i mean it is possible but hard to actualize.

i had received one of the greatest gifts last night. and that is the good time, really good time i had with friends. i could have never really asked for more except for it to last. last night i loved them more.

there is a certain person that i cannot help myself (now) to write about. someone i never thought i can have fun together with nor to even be together with. but there he was. so game. he even stayed over. haha. all of it was just so overwhelming that i did not even care that he smoked. just so overwhelming that the moments seemed so fragile i did not want to interrupt it. like a thing so overwhelmingly beautiful youd just want to look at it. yea, i feel like i could just die. haha. though he’s the main reason why i say gathering again all the people last night is just hardly possible. first off, we’re NOT batchmates (he’s two batches ahead of us) and second, we are NOT close friends (who said that “un”-close friends cannot have fun together?). so there it is. i told some friends that that (me inviting him) is the last big-time “chase” id ever do to him. but i saw him had fun and he had fun last night and he was just so friendly, un-awkward and approachable and so comfortable to be with even until when he left early this morning. he even went out of his way to effort and bid my parents goodbye when they do not even have a clue who he is. shoot. haha, crappy life. why do i have to fall for someone all over (again). it just hurts.

i had one of the best things, that life could offer, last night. and as much as i want to thank my family, i want to thank my friends who just gave me the most precious gift i could have on my eighteenth that i could bawl now. you make me want to cry now. words arent just enough. let us see each other again and i love the whole lot of you.:)



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