My f*cked up academic life doesn’t concern nor affect you the tiniest bit the way the things you do concern and affect me.

06Mar11

Last Friday was one hell of a night. It was a great night that eventually produced (not entirely because of us, I believe) a nightmare. Two close friends were infuriated and claimed to be ending their friendship or FO-ing (FO – friendship over) with one friend in our group.

So you see, we started five in the group- the remnants of a disorderly group of people who find drinking fun. Two factors brought (and kept) us together: 1) being in the same organization (though issues arose and we had to then avoid introducing ourselves as members of that org when out drinking), and 2) drinking. (I just have to make it clear that we are not alcoholics, we just bond over the activity and not all of us always drink because of drinking per se ..often it’s after the company.) Then the original five became six, then seven. However, I think even before we became six, one then two of us had a problem with another. Friend 1 stood up Friend 2 after agreeing to meet in Friend 1’s province which is more or less two hours, I suppose, of travel. And to add that Friend 2 is the rich kid type, and impatient, but sincere kind of person. Once she says she values you (and likes you for that matter), she means it. What makes it worse is that Friend 1 , I think, didn’t even text Friend 2 about not being able to meet her. And worst, Friend 2 was stood up because, turned out, Friend 1 is with her boyfriend. As if that was the only time Friend 1 left any of the group because of some f*cking guy.

Anyway, Friend 2 is bestfriends with Friend 3. And Friend 3 isn’t dumb to not notice either these kind of off things Friend 1 has been doing. So after that, they have been meangirls-ing (as Friend 6 calls it) Friend 1. Friend 2 wants to avoid Friend 1 totally then. But since I thought the org people might notice it and Friend 2 could come out as the bad guy, I told her to try and tell Friend 1 about her (our) sentiments so if things still don’t turn out nice (that is, if things didn’t get fixed and they don’t get back together as good friends), at least we could tell people (if issues arise) that we already did our job.

So we talked to her. And after that night, I felt better. But, apparently, Friend 2 wasn’t happy. She said she even got more annoyed. Friend 1, she claimed, just made excuses and didn’t own up to anything. I was devastated. Good things don’t last, in this case.

But we moved on. Friend 2 had grown to being civil with Friend 1 ..until Friend 1 made a bad decision (again)- this time something to do with me. One drinking session, I invited two of my high school friends. She flirted with one of them and after getting home, told me that I should not be troubling my sister (in her sleep) and they (Friend 1 and HSFriend 1)could just sleep beside each other. I was shocked. How could she, my college friend, tell me that she will f*cking ‘sleep’ with my old friend. I wondered where on Earth was respect at that time.

I could almost be having the same feeling as Friends 2 and 3. But I am kind and polite a much as I don’t like to be. I just kept a little distance. I tried to be aloof in some degree. I tried to be whatever that my predicament is telling me I should be. But sometimes, days go by and even if you harbor some ill feelings, you almost forget to care and live by the day.

Friends 4 and 6 still were normal with Friend 1. Friend 4 might have experienced Friend 1 leaving one drinking session, with his school papers that will be passed the next day, for a guy, but it wasn’t enough for him to be against Friend 1. Friend 6 might have experienced and heard not-so-good things about Friend 1 but it also weren’t enough to warrant Friend 1 of abandonment until (again) Friend 1 insulted Friend 4 of which I believe Friend 1 has no right to. No one, any of us, cared about the thing which concerned Friend 1. But the point is, she has no right. Ever. Yes, we might sometimes insult each other, but never did we go out of place. We did not insult to offend. But Friend 1, in that case, went out of bounds and did just that.

To add to the cases, last week (if Sunday is your start of the week) wasn’t a really good week for Friend 1 to begin with. Offenses were made and apologies were not heard and given to all those concerned.

I was forever looking for consideration on Friend 1. I was forever looking for respect ..and awareness and wisdom to be able to have that awareness sink in her system. We tried to formulate theories that might explain what she is and why she does what she’s doing. We tried to be considerate. But consideration runs out when the other party never tries in a bit to be considerate to anyone but herself.

One friend told me that maybe the reason why we (US) don’t fight the way (sort of highschool-ish as we call it) they (that friend and her friends) do is because we don’t care about each other. What she means, and i also think, is that yes we’re friends but we believe that we have our own lives and at the end of the day, we do what we want (as individuals). We can’t really restrict each other. We could point out what we think about what any of us are doing, but it’s [your] life. An important thing to note, however, is that we could not meddle with what you want as long as you don’t affect our lives (or maybe others) in a negative light. That, though, was what got Friend 1 an FO.

I am not saying an FO-highschool-sh mode. I think what my two friends mean is FO for mature people. We’ve grown up. Maybe not as better as in the standards of some, but we moved on. We have moved on. But you were stuck there. Getting worse.

I am not some idiot, unworthy-to-be-called-friend friend. In case you don’t know (in which case, that’s stupid), we tried. Many times. We tolerated. We accepted. But as one song says, You can’t always get what you want. Not everything is easy. Personal relationships aren’t games (in light of which I have to say: Stop entertaining people who likes you but you don’t really like. You might wake up one day with all the pain you’ve caused these people in your chest).

Breaking things up with a person is never easy. You might have made it easy. But don’t ever think that it was. (We?) had to. You made us do it. Please learn. In case you continue ruining (your life) (which I sincerely hope you don’t), don’t get other people involved.

They say friendship isn’t just about the good times. It really is not. But stupid quotes don’t include explanations. I don’t know if there exists a friendship which is unconditional. We (might have? I’m playing safe) loved you. But you burn us. You can’t have a friendship where one is playing wildly with fire while the others are involuntarily being dragged into it. So, maybe goodluck Friend 7.

Sad thing is, even though you always say sorry, you keep repeating every f*cking thing you do. As if affecting your life isn’t enough, you trouble ours.

Toi, toi, toi?

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5 Responses to “My f*cked up academic life doesn’t concern nor affect you the tiniest bit the way the things you do concern and affect me.”

  1. 1 bellelynx

    POINT TAKEN πŸ™‚

    1 thing is fo sho:i ain’t that friend.. whew.. :))

    so they did it Tin? .. perhaps she doesn’t know she’s doing the wrong thing?.. oh idk

    • Ilang beses na rin namang sinabihan at stupid lang talaga (insensitive, inconsiderate, and all) yung huling ginawa nya kaya I don’t think ia-accept namin na “she doesn’t know she’s doing the wrong thing”.
      Relationships are hard.

  2. 3 Valerie

    Please delete my previous comment. I made the mistake of typing my last name. But again, Oh Tin. *blank stare*

    • Again, relationships are hard. πŸ™‚

      • 5 Valerie

        I FINALLY UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING. TAMA BA NAMAN KASING MAG-MIA FOR MORE THAN A YEAR?!! Haha I love you Tin


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