I am a disappointment but I am not a failure.


So, me telling about how my undergrad is a mess isn’t new. This semester, I dropped two subjects: my German integrated (German 14-15). And just a few hours ago, I found out that I flunked the last Econ subject I’ve to take to complete the Econ courses we (PolSc students) are required to take up. There, sarcastically speaking, very very good. But as what I messaged a friend after I found out of that “5”: “Econ fail. The only failure I can tolerate this sem.”. To be fair, effort-wise, I deserve a five. I don’t go to class. Well, I did, but only a few times that I would be more easily profiled as a sit-in rather than a regular student of that class. And, more importantly, even after three Econ subjects, I don’t think I’ve acquired a significant amount of knowledge about it. Seriously. Now, now, I just realize that since grade school, I am always jinxed on my last year. (Grade 6 saw me with high enough grades to be included in the honors’ list but ‘devalued’ in class standing because of a ‘controversial’ drop of grade of my Science subject: from 91 to 80, I think. 4th year in high school, on the other, had me with my Calculus grade dropping with enough points to get me to believing that maybe I am jinxed on my last years.) And now in college, supposedly in my last year (4th yr) last year (2009), I flunked the subject, that makes or breaks my graduating status, twice. And this year got me starting all over again with that critical stage (meaning no “5” in that one very, very important subject).

Hmm. I forgot the specific things that I supposedly would write in this post. I got carried away in that introduction part. And my mind is all confused with multi-tasking (eating ice cream, writing this post, checking other sites – Ymail, Twitter, Facebook, listening and sometimes watching news). Will be back after I remember, er, organize my thoughts.


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